Sisters by Grace

On the day I write this, my friend left her earthly home and went to be with the Lord. She left behind a body ravaged by cancer and lots of grieving family and friends. She was a prayer warrior and full of God’s grace as well as the earthly kind. Her eyes sparkled when she smiled or laughed and she loved sparkly things. Now whenever I look at the stars I’ll see extra sparkle there, though that will come from the tears in my eyes as I think of how I miss her. And how I’m so glad she’s no longer fighting that dastardly foe.

It seems so rare as an adult to come across someone you immediately spark with—I met her and felt a kindred spirit instantly. When the cancer first hit and treatment started, she decided to cut her hair short, and she was nervous about it—I don’t know that she’d ever had such short hair— so I said I’d get a pixie cut so she wasn’t the only one in church with very short hair. Below is one of the photos I texted her just after my haircut.

At our church, pre-COVID19, the ladies enjoyed periodic gatherings under the banner “Sisters by Grace.” We are sisters in Christ by the grace of God, and that has such a lovely ring to it—every time I hear it, I’m reminded that no matter our physical differences, tall or short, thin or wide, and a rainbow of skin colors, we all worship the same God. It is a connection that I cherish, having grown up with three brothers. In my family, we don’t talk a lot about our faith, and it is a shift for me to do so publicly. I was raised to consider faith a private thing, between me and the Lord, as the saying goes. These days, though, I think it’s important to be clear from the outset that I know how richly God has blessed me: with loving husband and cherished friends, close family nearby, being born in America to a Christian family, enjoying educational and travel opportunities as a military dependent, having the freedom to pursue and work through graduate school, having a roof over my head and a car to drive to a job I enjoy, fellowship and worship with the saints at my church, good health, so many blessings every day! My faith informs how I work at a foundational level, though it is generally not a topic of discussion in my workshops or sessions.

Today, or whenever you read this, I hope you will stop for a moment and think about all that you have to be grateful for. Some days it’s hard to access gratitude, so we need to pause and focus. It can be helpful to make a list or keep a small notebook of things and people we appreciate and are grateful for. That way, we can remind ourselves on days when it seems nothing is going right that we can still choose to be grateful — because gratitude is a choice. If there’s a person in your life who makes you happy in some way, please let them know. We all need to feel appreciated and learn to express our pleasure in another’s company. I’m so glad I expressed to my friend how much I cherished her friendship—I think I’ll send a card to another friend today. Who will you reach out to?